The Red Menace

As bloggers, part of our mandate is to supply critical information in times of war. As such, we have compiled here a report on information discovered from defecting North Korean scientists. We have here some shocking photos.

The scientists brought this picture of what he claims to be a Korean Sky Fortress under construction. This arched, metal death machine is nearly 800 ft wide (about 5.3 times the length of a curling sheet) is said to be able to reach Mach 2. The square holes in front are clearly some sort of weapon port, each one capable of launching their own Panda Bear squadron. This new weapon would make Nagasaki look like a Swedish square dancing festival (which is still pretty devastating).


Fig. 1: Flying Godzilla factory

The war propaganda in North Korea is touting the devastating capabilities of their weapon. Here, a cartoon comments on the new weapon's lethality:



Fig. 2: The sky fortress flying down the throat of big, American business? Music to my ears.

This information will be instrumental in constructing the giant cellos/stealth bombers we will need to counter this threat. I think I speak for all Americans when I extend my deepest thanks to all defecting, North Korean scientists.

Support your local North Korean defector: frequent your neighborhood Korean Barbeque establishment today.


Fig. 3: Help pay for this man's sex change operation so he can hide from Korean spies while living the American dream.